My Homeschool Experience
Hi,
I was homeschooled between 6th and 12th grade. I hated it. Worst experience of my entire life. I will explain. I was homeschooled by my absolutely insane father. I was not allowed to have friends my age. I was not allowed to talk to anyone that had an opposing viewpoint from my father. Therefore, I was not exposed to anyone that believed differently from me at a very early age. The cherry on top of my entire nightmare of an experience was the fact that I was physically and emotional abused by my father. Almost every single day.
Prior to being homeschooled, I attended a private Catholic School. That experience was much more enjoyable for me. I made friends, socialized, and felt accepted by my peers which is what every kid really wants. At the age of 11, my father decided to move our family to Florida so I could properly pursue my dream of becoming a professional tennis player (really his dream). In order to devote my time to being a tennis player, I could no longer attend school in person. Homeschooling was the only option and actually quite common amongst junior tennis players in Florida. I was initially enrolled in Calvert and later on Florida Virtual School (FLVS). My main instructor in both programs was my father.
My father, being a Mechanical Engineer, wanted me to excel in science and mathematics. So I did. I graduated FLVS at 15 years old and started college at Clemson University at 16 years old. I ended up graduating with a Bachelors of Science in Computer Science from the University of Florida in 2018 a few days before my 22nd birthday. I received my Masters of Science in Computer Science from UMass Dartmouth at 25 years old. I currently work as a Software Engineering Lead for a company that makes Quantum Computers. I will admittedly say, I would never be here without my dad’s guidance.
That being said, I don’t speak to my father. I have not seen him in over 5 years. I’m in therapy for the trauma I’ve dealt with in my childhood. My heart still races when I hear the sound of a belt buckle. I never had a chance to make friends during an important time in my life. I still have a hard time understanding social cues or an individual’s intentions. I also had a very super crazy phase after I left home. Unfortunately, some people decided to take advantage of the fact that knew so little about the external world. Yet, I still believe homeschooling a great option for many children and families. It just wasn’t for mine. A teacher would’ve eventually seen the bruises and my father would’ve been arrested. But of course my father knew that which is why he kept me isolated from the outside world.
This is my experience. It is not the universal homeschool experience. As a parent, I understand wanting to guide your child to success and shield them from the uncertainties of the external world. But what a lot of parents (homeschool or otherwise) fail to understand is that they should also consider their child’s long-term contentment. I’m not talking about giving them a cookie when they ask but rather are they a genuinely content person inside? Do they want a relationship with you as an adult? Do they want to call you when they fall on hard times? I would trade everything I’ve ever earned for a solid relationship with my parents. Everything.
So while homeschooling can be a great option for some children and families. It is not a great option for all and shouldn’t be romanticized as such.
Thanks for reading.
